Life Beyond the Temple Page 13

  “CASEY, YOU need to wake up. We have to get going. Ston said that if you’re okay, we need to go as soon as possible to get to Haven. He really wants to get there as quickly as we can so we can leave that place right away. Elves and dark elves don’t get along. He wants this over and done with as soon as possible,” Regan said.

  I groaned and pulled the blanket tighter around me. She wasn’t in bed anymore, which made me unhappy. I didn’t want to wake up. “Five more minutes,” I mumbled.

  “I wish.” She had that throaty chuckle and a smirk playing along her lips.

  “If you wish hard enough, we can make it true,” I tried.

  “Sure we can. Come on, get ready to go. I’m sure Cam is waiting for you,” she muttered darkly.

  “Jealous?” I asked, half joking.

  “Yes. She took off your shirt. She had this special place with you. She refused to let go of your hand. She spends a lot of time with you.” She shrugged. I sighed, got out of bed, and walked up to her. My hands slid around her waist, and I looked up at her with a grin.

  “Well, you could always give her something to be jealous of.”

  She laughed nervously. “I don’t know. I have a feeling you’re suggesting this because you just want to stay in bed.”

  “And if I am?”

  She looked like she wanted to kiss me, and probably more, but she laughed again and pulled away. “You definitely need to get ready to go.”

  I frowned and grabbed clothes. Regan had done laundry yesterday, which was really nice of her since I was unconscious and we had to leave this morning and needed clothes. “Fine.” I stuck my tongue out at her and went into the bathroom to shower and get ready.

  Later I walked downstairs, Cinder bouncing playfully by my side. He spent yesterday in as much pain as I was but with no visible wounds. Cam and Regan had been able to take him outside for a couple of walks, but he stayed in the room with me most of the day. I was so caught up with Regan that I hadn’t really thought about him.

  Are you okay? he whimpered in my head.

  I reached down to scratch him behind one of his ears. I’m alright. We need to be careful of this guy, Cinder. He’s dangerous. He licked my hand as if to assure me we would be okay.

  I wasn’t so sure.

  Cam had nodded off in the corner of the lobby, and Ston sat beside her, waiting. He elbowed her, and she jerked up, pointedly glaring at him. She looked like she was going to say something, but then she saw me and froze for a moment.

  “Case….” She stood up and walked over to me. Regan muttered something under her breath and stalked off to talk to Ston.

  “Hey, Cam.” I smiled a little.

  She pulled me into a tight hug. “I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t sleep. Dammit, Casey, I was terrified. You were bleeding and you wouldn’t heal and I couldn’t… I couldn’t help. Ston was the only one I could think of. He was the only one who could do anything. What happened?” She was panicked still, and I wondered if she would ever let it go.

  “Just the necromancer telling me he knows my past is all.” I hugged Cam back, and waited until she finally pulled away. “I’m fine now.”

  I don’t think she believed me, but she nodded. She looked at Ston and Regan. Regan was watching Cam and me closely. When I met her eyes, she gave me a wide smile. “I wouldn’t have left last night if she didn’t tell me you needed space and rest and that it didn’t make sense for me to stay there. She said I needed sleep for today. I wish I had been able to sleep.”

  She was watching Regan too, and I could see the sadness behind her eyes. I looked back to Regan and smiled. I could feel Cam grow tense. She must have hated Regan, or maybe she wished I’d smile at her like that. It almost made me miss the Temple. Martun was easier to be around. But Regan, Cam, Ston, and my newfound “friend”? It was getting to be too much. I wondered how much longer I could keep up the façade of holding it all together.

  I felt the newly formed scars on my back twinge at the mere thought of him. I’ve never even heard of someone this powerful in the last hundred years or so. Dreamscaping was hard enough on its own, but then to do what he did? And he didn’t even look fazed. It was like he wasn’t even trying. It was terrifying.

  “You were right about him. The dark elf. He’s a good man, despite his… heritage. I’ve never been more thankful to anyone in my life.” Cam’s voice brought me back. She was looking down at me with those blue eyes. They weren’t ice anymore. It was like they had melted, leaving a clear blue pool behind. I could feel her wanting to let me in, to get me past whatever wall she had put up. I could tell how she wanted me to take that step. Part of me wanted to, and the other part screamed run!

  I couldn’t even be with Regan, and I wanted to be. I also wanted Cam, but in a different way. She was there for me and treated me as an equal, I loved that. I liked her, but it was different from how I liked Regan. How could I expect to do anything with Cam if I couldn’t be where I wanted with Regan?

  How could I think about them now? I had so much going on. They were distractions from the real problem. They were taking my mind away from the necromancer.

  This is too much.

  I can’t deal with this.

  I should have done this alone.

  Cinder whimpered quietly. What about me?

  I couldn’t imagine being here without Cinder. He was more than a pet. He was a piece of me. Of course with you.

  I think Ston saw my steady spiral into pure freak-out mode because he touched Regan’s shoulder and murmured something to her. He walked over to Cam and me, his violet eyes locked on mine.

  Maybe Ston too, I thought after a moment.

  “Regan wants to talk to you about travel and camp,” Ston said, his gazed fixed on me while he spoke to Cam.

  Cam frowned but agreed. She managed to give me a weak smile before walking to Regan.

  “We need to talk.” Ston had a light smile, but his voice was all business.

  “Is it the Clerstan?” I tried feigning the same carefree attitude that he had, but I could feel the cold fear twisting in my gut.

  He nodded. “How did you get it?”

  I frowned, dropping the act for just a moment. “Dreamscaping. He gave it to me in the dream, and I woke up with it on the nightstand.”

  He nodded and looked up at the ceiling. “The scars on your back are punishment. What did you do?”

  I stiffened. What was he getting at? “I brought someone back from the dead,” I finally managed; my weak façade had disappeared entirely by now.

  He nodded. I would have thought there would have been more surprise, but there wasn’t. Instead he said, “There was more, wasn’t there? People like you and I never do just one thing. You had more research. You did more than that. What else did you do?”

  What is he—

  No.

  It’s not true.

  It’s not at all true.

  I didn’t do it.

  “What did you do, Casey?” Ston growled. “What did you do?”

  “Nothing,” I whimpered.

  “Don’t lie to me,” he hissed. “Did you do this? Did you create this?” He held up the packet of white powder, and it took everything in me not to flinch away from him. He wasn’t pretending anymore. His gaze wasn’t carefree and happy. It had turned hard and cold.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  Theoretical. It was always theoretical. It was just paper. Just like bringing Martun back. It was only meant to be on paper, never created. Hell, it was never even supposed to work.

  I came up with the idea when I seriously began studying the dark elves, looking in depth at their history, culture, and their pure power. I began coming up with my own spells and other creations. I was looking for a better way to infuse the enchantment that directed a mage’s Life Force easier, like my gloves. I did eventually find it, but for a while I had been stuck.

  That’s when I first came up with it. It would be a way for me to practice thinking outside of the box, try
all routes before saying they didn’t work. The project became so extensive that it took up three notebooks when I finally gave up.

  It took me almost two years to come up with what would become the base of Clerstan.

  For those years I went to class and then locked myself in my room alone, working late into the night on a way to gain the power of the ancient dark elves.

  But it was missing a crucial element, and I couldn’t find it. It didn’t exist, so I pulled away from the project. That was about six months before Martun died. The project did help me build my mind. It was what got me to come up with the horrible thing I did and the reason Martun is alive. It’s also the reason the gloves are so efficient now.

  It wasn’t called Clerstan then, but all of the notebooks had The Temporary Solution scrawled across the top. I knew that if I had found that missing element, it wouldn’t be permanent; it would need to be administered every few hours.

  The necromancer’s words flashed through my mind again.

  “I need a more permanent solution.”

  Damn him.

  How had he found my research?

  How did he do this?

  I had forgotten about the books. They had been destroyed with the rest of my work. After I brought Martun back, he and I destroyed everything. I couldn’t do it alone. It was everything I had, and it was horrible. Every bit of it was terrible. I needed it gone, and I knew I could trust him to help me. He didn’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me. I killed his sister. He helped burn all of it with me. Nobody should have found those books. They didn’t exist anymore.

  I caused this.

  This was my fault.

  If I had just been like everyone else.

  If I hadn’t tried so goddamn hard.

  This was my fault.

  The “genius mind” behind this great evil wasn’t his. It was mine. He just did the touch-ups.

  “Why? Why did you do it?” Ston growled.

  “I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t supposed to work, hell, it was never even supposed to be physically made. It was just to expand my mind, that’s all. It was for science. I was studying.”

  “We’re here because of you. People are in danger because of you.”

  “It wasn’t real. I was studying,” I whispered.

  “The hell you were! What is it with you people? Always striving for more power! When will enough be enough?” he shouted.

  Cinder growled. His hackles raised and his red eyes gleamed dangerously as he glared up at the dark elf.

  Regan seemed to appear out of nowhere. She pushed me behind her slightly, as if to protect me from him. It was pointless, though. She wouldn’t be able to stop him if he really wanted to hurt me. She could pull her gun out and shoot as many times as she wanted, and he’d still be able to kill me without breaking a sweat. I wasn’t sure if I’d try to stop him. He was right.

  “Go take a break, Ston. We’ll leave in half an hour.” She sounded calm, relaxed, but still held that tone of command.

  He turned on his heel and stalked off.

  Regan turned back to me, suddenly looking concerned. “What happened?”

  “Nothing,” I said, looking down at my feet.

  She gripped my chin lightly and lifted it so I’d look at her. I loved and hated being like this with her. It was dangerous to be close to her. I couldn’t tell her everything. She was my knight protector, but I couldn’t let her know everything. And yet, I loved how warm she was, how she was always trying to protect me.

  And I put her in danger.

  “Didn’t seem like nothing.” She searched my face for the answer.

  “It’s just that Ston was angry about the necromancer taking power. He blames mages or humans or both, for always wanting more. I guess he’s right, though….” I started to pull away, but Regan stopped me.

  “There’s nothing wrong with wanting more of something. You just can’t cross the line of wanting too much. We all want more, even dark elves. There are things I want more of. I just can’t always have what I want. Don’t worry too much about it. He just needs to calm down.”

  “Yeah.” I sighed and finally pulled away from her.

  Cam was sitting at a table, looking at the table and fidgeting with her hands. Had she seen Regan and me? Probably. Even if we didn’t really do anything, she probably didn’t like it. She probably hated it. Cam never tried that with me. I don’t think she thought she could.

  I didn’t know if I wanted her to or not.

  Everything was so confusing.

  I really shouldn’t have been thinking about all of this. Cam and Regan were distractions. They were keeping me from the real problem. I couldn’t keep doing this. I needed to stop dealing with them like this.

  If I helped create Clerstan, I should have a good handle on it. I needed to think about that. I needed to find out everything I could about his power. I needed to do this before it got too far out of hand.

  Romance wasn’t important now. I could deal with that after this was all through. Regan and Cam would have to wait.

  “I’m going for a walk,” I said.

  Regan nodded. “Don’t be gone too long. We have to go soon.” I could tell she was a little hurt, but there wasn’t much else I could do.

  I didn’t go far; I found a bench and sat down with Cinder beside me. He was huge. He hadn’t been around long, but he was growing rapidly.

  About five minutes later I felt someone sit down next to me. I looked over to see Cam looking out across the road.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “You’re upset. I don’t like it,” she said simply.

  “You didn’t have to come here,” I mumbled.

  “I know. I just like being around you, and I hate seeing you upset.” She was quiet for a while. “Regan wasn’t happy. She’s sitting at a table moping right now.” I nodded. “I’m not going to ask you to tell me what’s wrong, Casey. You’re capable of knowing what you want to do all on your own. I’m here for you, though, in case you do decide to tell someone. Whatever it is, I don’t care. I’m always there for you, no matter what.”

  “I’m putting everyone in danger. What if one of you dies? This is all my fault. I’m dragging innocent people into it with me. This was supposed to be my problem.” I couldn’t stop it from coming out. Cam felt safe. I felt like I could tell her everything.

  She didn’t say anything for a moment, but she did wrap an arm around me and pull me close to her. I just wanted to relax into her. She didn’t look at me; she didn’t smile, just kept her straight face and looked out across the street. “You didn’t make anyone help you. Any one of us could leave when we wanted to. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t set the city on fire. You didn’t kill anyone. It’s not your fault.”

  “But—”

  “We’re here for you, and you’re not getting rid of us.”

  You’re not getting rid of us, Cinder repeated.

  People are in danger because of me. Maybe leaving wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

  Cinder looked up at me and cocked his head to the side. Are we going?

  “Yeah” was all I said, leading Cam on and letting Cinder know. I couldn’t stay any longer. I couldn’t do this any longer.

  “You don’t have to do this alone. You have us.” She finally looked at me and smiled. “We’re going to help you.”

  We leave tonight. I needed to leave as soon as I could. The longer I stayed, the more danger they were in.

  Chapter 13

  CASEY’S LEAVING. I can see it in her eyes. I can see it in the way she walks.

  She was going.

  She probably thought she was a hindrance or something. Yes, we were in danger, but this necromancer was killing people who had never even seen her. We would be in danger anyways. She didn’t need to leave. She couldn’t leave.

  How can I protect her if she’s gone?

  I wasn’t the strongest; in fact I was the weakest here. Ston’s magic was exceptional. Regan
had her gun at least, and she would die before letting anything get near Casey. Cinder was, well, Cinder. Me? I was weak. Ever since my training with Casey began, I could sense it. I used to think I was powerful for learning on my own, but I can feel my Life Force waver and my will isn’t strong. I’m just weak. I can barely do anything other than basic spells. I don’t even know what my natural element is.

  Casey is strong, smart, funny, beautiful, she’s just… she’s Casey. She could do almost anything she wanted, I bet, but not this. Not alone. He was too powerful. She couldn’t do this alone.

  Cinder would be going, but he wasn’t enough either. I think he’s still a puppy; he’s growing rapidly like puppies do. He’s not enough.

  I can’t let her go.

  But wishing didn’t make it so.

  I needed a plan.

  I spent the entire day watching her. She barely spoke. Regan was beside her, Ston leading the way, and I was behind Regan, Casey, and Cinder. Regan tried talking to her a few times, but I didn’t think Casey even noticed. She was just staring straight ahead, too wrapped up in her thoughts. How could Regan not guess? How could Regan not see what she was going to do?

  It made me angry. There was Regan, the one Casey wanted, the one who had the life I wanted, and she didn’t even notice.

  Regan, just a normal human who was falling in love with Casey and not being rejected. Regan, the one who had a home, who got to learn, who had a meal every night. Regan, the one who didn’t need to steal. Regan, the one who had Casey, and she didn’t even notice.

  I was jealous, of course I was. Who wouldn’t be? I was a mage. The idea made me sick to my stomach. I wouldn’t have taken up Casey’s offer to learn if she had been anyone else. I didn’t know her when she offered, but I couldn’t think of anything else I’d rather do than be around her. She was something I had never experienced. It was more than attraction, it was something different. Like when you walk outside on the first warm day after a bitter, freezing winter.

  She was why I even thought about the mage part of me. I was even growing not to despise it. It had come in handy before, healing mostly. And Ston. Ston had powerful magic. I had seen the scars all over his body. He had been in a thin white tank top when I brought Casey into the inn, his Life Force glowing through it. He healed her. He saved her.