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  Skye smiled weakly. “Thank you. We wouldn’t have stood a chance without you and your friends. There would have been many more graves if you weren’t here, Casey.”

  “And still there are too many. Go and find them. Tell Flick and Regan to help if you see them. I have to go speak with the chief.” I touched her shoulder and took a breath to steady myself, before beginning the hardest walk in my life to tell the chief of those he lost because of me.

  I entered the tent and bowed my head to him. “The trolls have been defeated, but not without a cost. I am sorry. If I had led them better or gotten to them faster, I could have saved them. I have made orphans tonight. Along with widows and widowers. I’ve even taken children from parents. I take full responsibility for the lives that have been lost, Chief. And I pray that our friendship remains, even though I have let your brothers and sisters fall.”

  “Hush, Casey. This is not your fault; this is the dark elves’ fault. They are to blame for what happened tonight. They sent trolls to destroy our camp. Without you we would not have survived the night, not even I.”

  “Even so, sir—”

  “Quiet, my child. You did everything you could; I believe that. Now, we must attend to the dead.”

  “I’ve already asked for their bodies to be brought back here for your traditional burial,” I answered, finally having something right to say.

  “Thank you again. I don’t know where we would have been without you tonight.”

  “I know exactly where we would be!” a voice sounded from behind me. I turned to see the pixie from earlier, the one who didn’t want to let us into the camp. Nill. He was standing in the entrance of the tent, his body tense and rage in his eyes. “We wouldn’t be here! I’d bet my life they followed this human to us! We’ve gone months without seeing them. We were hidden! And she shows up and suddenly there’s this big attack?” He grabbed the collar of my shirt and jerked me toward him. “I don’t believe you for a second. You coming to us for help with a dark elf? Offering us a place in our old world despite kicking us out of it to begin with? You’re lying, I know it. You’re a danger to us all and we can’t trust you,” he snarled in my face, his hot breath washing over me.

  I didn’t struggle but instead looked him in the eyes. “I’m sorry if they did follow me here. It wasn’t my intention,” I stated calmly.

  “Liar!” he screamed, his grip tightening. “You’re in on it. I can smell it on you. The dark elves and you are peas in a pod. You’re even traveling with one! How am I the only one who sees it? You stand right next to one and call him friend!”

  “Step away from her or you’ll regret it.” Cam’s voice was dangerously low and dark.

  He looked toward her, still holding on to me. “Another mage! Another surfacer! I should have killed you all when I laid eyes on you!”

  “Let her go or you’ll lose that goddamned hand,” she growled.

  “No!” He was frantic, rage and despair washing through him.

  She raised her hand, and I knew she was piling up Life Force to do just what she had said. “Cam, stop!” She looked at me, anger the only thing I could see in her eyes. “Stop,” I whispered, hoping to get to her, make her see reason. Her hand wavered, and her gaze flicked back and forth between us. I looked at the pixie and placed a hand over his. “Nill, I never wanted to hurt anyone. I came here to stop people from getting hurt. All I want is to help not only my people, but yours. I want you to be safe on the surface, to live as you were meant to, with other people in this world. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. And the idea that we were followed and that this was my fault was well in my head before you suggested it.” I felt his grip loosen slightly, and I was able to pull his hand away without much resistance. “Nill, I am not working with them. I am working with Ston. He came to me and told me they plan to kill the people I grew up with, my family. I have days to get back to the surface with enough people to save them. I am not working for them. I am working for us.”

  In the short time I’d known him, I would never have guessed I would see Nill cry. This was just one more thing I’d be wrong about. He let out a choked sob and crumpled to the ground. I knelt beside him and rubbed his back, unsure of what else to do. All I could think was that he lost someone in this fight. Someone I could have saved.

  THAT NIGHT the families of the dead dug their graves, and there was a feast to celebrate their passing into their world of the dead. I didn’t eat or drink with the rest, but fasted in vigil instead. And when most of the lights were blown out and the pixies went to their tents for the night, I created my own sphere of light and walked to the graves. I sat before them and memorized all of their names. There were six. Six lives lost because I wasn’t there.

  Rican. A man of thirty-six years. He had two children who had also fought. He died saving one of them. His wife had apparently passed years ago.

  Kimil. A woman of just twenty. She didn’t have a family. She lost them in the last attack. But she had friends. And there was a young man who had loved her dearly.

  Antial. An old man. He was sixty-eight. He was supposed to be in the tent with the children. Twitch felt personally responsible. He had begged the man to go to the tent, but he wanted to stand and fight with his kin.

  Pene. They were agender and didn’t associate with being a woman or a man. Nill had spoken of them all night. How he would miss their arms, their green eyes, their lips.

  Mithal. He was just eleven. He had hidden from Twitch before the fight. Another one Twitch blamed himself for. He was small. His parents had both lived, but they were what the pixies called soul dead. Their souls died because of a traumatic event. They would have to find them again in order to travel to their other world after death. I wondered if it would be possible for them.

  And Liana. The girl who had been taken first. Her father had lost the light in his eyes too. His wife guided him in everything, encouraged him to eat, to leave Liana’s grave, to sleep. He was soul dead too. It had taken a long time to wash the blood away from her platinum blonde hair.

  “You never came to bed,” Regan said quietly, startling me.

  “No. I want to stay with them tonight. Make sure they arrive safely in the other world.”

  “I understand.” We sat in silence for a few minutes until she said, “I’m sorry for how I acted during the battle.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said curtly. I didn’t want to forgive her after her actions.

  “I do. All I do is worry. I can see how useless I am to this team. Every fight we get into is someone protecting me. Cam died to save me. You keep getting seriously injured for me. Flick is the only reason I’m alive right now. I was sent to be your protector. I haven’t saved you once. Why did they even send me? And I heard about you and Nill earlier. I wasn’t even there. I can’t protect you, Casey. I’m not strong enough, and it’s torture because I’m not only useless but a burden to you.”

  “The knight thing is an old tradition. In those stories you tell me from ages and ages ago, you would have been much more helpful. But now… they send knights out of tradition and to keep an eye on the mages, to report back to the Temple. You know that. I’m sure they repeatedly told you to watch out for any dangerous actions I might be up to. And to kill me if you started to suspect me of anything.

  “Of course you can shoot a gun and basic hand to hand, but more than anything, the position has become a glorified guard. Training has gone soft. There’s no need for what your stories talk about. The real training is in how to tell when a mage is going to become a danger and how to take care of a mage should they become a threat. It’s not the same anymore, Regan. Knights aren’t heroic soldiers; they’re wardens to a prison.” And from what I knew of the other Temples, my prison had been one of the easygoing ones with a more humane approach to the mages.

  She didn’t answer, leading me to know I was right.

  “You aren’t useless or a burden. You are my love. You have different strengths than we do. We are magical. You have
human weapons. They aren’t as successful with certain creatures.”

  “I am weak,” she spat.

  “You are strong. But there is more than one version of strong. You aren’t weak or useless in this fight. You are my rock. I need you, Regan. I thought I lost you today. Do you know what I would have done without you?” I reached out to touch her arm.

  She jerked away. “And I was saved again,” she snapped. “I am not enough for this fight. Not yet.” She spun on her heel and stalked back to camp.

  I worried by what she meant and what she was thinking of, but I couldn’t imagine anything dangerous she could do right now. She just needed time to calm down. She would be okay by tomorrow. Things were always better after a night’s rest.

  I turned my attention back to the graves and wished them luck on their journey while I watched over them.

  Chapter 8

  MY EYELIDS were heavy, and I was cold from sitting out all night. I heard steps coming from behind me, and I turned to see Twitch, drastically different from his twin brother. He had the same dark hair and eyes, but the rest of his body screamed the exact opposite of his powerful brother. He had his hands deep in his pockets and was slouching and trying to avoid eye contact. “B-breakfast is starting. You should come back. Father has an announcement since you leave this morning.”

  I nodded and stood up, wavering back and forth slightly from tiredness. “I’m on my way,” I said with as much of a smile as I could muster.

  We walked back together in silence. He wasn’t really one for talking, it seemed.

  The camp was bustling with activity, parents readying their children for the day and people bringing food out to the large fire pit. We walked to the chief’s tent where the rest of my little group, the chief, Flick, and Skye all sat. Twitch and I took our seats with them and waited for the camp to settle down.

  The chief stood outside of the tent and looked out at his people. “My sons and my adopted daughter will go with Casey Kelley and help her on her travels. They will be her companions from this point onward, acting as our representatives in this war we are joining. I will send up some of you, volunteers only, to the surface to help her defend her Temple from the dark elves’ first attack. But remember what she has done for us when you consider going to help her, for she has helped us a great deal. She will leave after breakfast to continue her quest and we will begin to prepare for the next battle. A battle in a foreign place. We are a family, now. Casey Kelley is as much your family as the person beside you. She is one of us. And we are one of hers. This is the start of a new world; let us not squander it in old feuds we do not recall. Now, let us eat and be merry before they leave.” He smiled brightly and clapped once. The pixies stood and went to grab food, talking and laughing happily, like last night hadn’t happened. They didn’t wallow in grief here; they celebrated their return to the world from which they came. Death was not the end, just a new chapter.

  Skye, Twitch, and Flick would be joining us on this journey. Just more people I could become friends with and worry about them dying if I screwed up.

  I was sitting beside Flick at the moment, and Twitch was sitting on his other side. Skye was farther away talking with Cam and Ston, and Regan was avoiding me. Cinder was chowing down on some piece of meat, but I wasn’t sure what it was.

  “So, Flick, do you have anyone special? Girlfriend or boyfriend?” I asked casually.

  “No,” he said, cutting into a piece of strange fruit.

  “Really? You’re an attractive guy. I’m surprised they don’t all fall over you.”

  “They do,” Twitch answered for him. “He just doesn’t like that. He’s asexual. He’s not sexually attracted to anyone, so while they’re all mooning over him, he’s just looking at his sword.”

  I furrowed my eyebrows. Asexual? I’d never heard of something like that before; as far as I knew, everyone liked sex. Didn’t they? I was trying to figure out what to say when Flick spoke.

  “Just because I don’t find anyone attractive like that doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship. I want to go on dates, make a person smile. Their gender doesn’t matter to me very much, but I tend to like women more. I want to fall in love quite desperately, actually. I just don’t want to have sex with them. My mind doesn’t work like that. The idea of it isn’t something I like to think about. It doesn’t make me broken like many people think. It makes me different. I don’t like sex. It doesn’t mean I don’t like people.” He was very calm when he said it, but I could tell he was tired of saying it.

  “I’m kind of the opposite,” Twitch said, rambling on as he nervously picked at his meal. “He’s panromantic. He likes people of all genders and wants to fall in love but not have sex. I am gay. I like sex very much. Unfortunately gathering the courage to get to that point with someone, even talking to someone is hard enough for me. But I’m aromantic. I don’t have romantic attraction to people. I experience love, but not romantic love. My friends, my family, those are people I love. And I may love someone I have sex with, but not in a romantic way. I want sex, but I just don’t fall in love with anyone; he doesn’t like sex and wants to fall in love.”

  I nodded as I thought about it. I had never considered those kinds of things. For me sex and romance seemed like things everyone would want, but it made sense. If I could be attracted to women and not men and people could be attracted to more than one gender, then it wouldn’t be hard to believe some people just weren’t attracted to anyone. And I guess the same thing for people with romance.

  “Do you need to grab anything before we leave?” Skye’s voice jerked me out of my thoughts. She was standing beside me and everyone was finishing their meals and getting ready. “We don’t have much time. We need to get going soon to reach this bar you want to go to. Ston told me where it is.”

  “Just the bags we came with,” I answered.

  “I need my journals and some of the things from my room,” Twitch said, standing up and scurrying off to his tent flap.

  I looked over at Flick, who just shrugged and touched the hilt of the sword attached to his hip. There was also a small bag of what I assumed were clothes beside him. “Whatever else I need we can find on the way.”

  Skye had a small smirk on her face when she asked, “And your ‘dragon’s scale’?”

  His face turned bright red—with anger or embarrassment, I wasn’t sure. “I’ve got it.”

  “Face it. Dragons never existed. And if they did, they died long before the first pixie was born. It’s not a dragon scale. I’m sure it’s just something the dwarves carved to look like one.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, lost in what was going on.

  “He’s got a good-luck charm. Takes it everywhere, says it’s the only thing that keeps him safe in battle sometimes. He thinks it’s a dragon’s scale, but he’s crazy. No one has ever found evidence they even existed. It’s just a gem or piece of metal that the dwarves probably shaped for something,” Skye scoffed.

  Flick dug in a pocket and held it up to show me. “It’s harder than any gem I’ve seen. And I can tell you that there were many times I should have died in a fight, and this is what kept me alive. I could feel it get hot sometimes.”

  “That’s just your head. It’s filled with hot air.”

  Skye rolled her eyes. He dropped it in my hand, and I examined it closely. It was a translucent greenish blue. I couldn’t resist sending a small pulse of Life Force through it, not expecting anything to happen, but just to test it out.

  I felt it grow hot and then a strong pulse rattled through my body. I dropped it to the ground, my breath sticking in my throat.

  “Hey! What the hell?” Flick muttered as he reached out and picked it up.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. You should probably hold on to that. It looks valuable, whatever it is. We’re going to be seeing a bunch of dwarves soon. Maybe you can ask one of them?”

  “Maybe,” he said evasively. “Doesn’t matter what it’s worth. I’m keeping
it.”

  “Superstitious,” Skye said.

  “I’d rather be superstitious and wrong than be cynical about it and find out that it was real the whole time,” he shot back.

  “Okay, I’m ready to go,” Twitch said, standing a foot or two away from us and halting the argument between Skye and Flick.

  Regan had our duffel bag slung over her shoulder and was looking at the ground. I guess a night’s sleep didn’t help as much as I thought it would. I hoped she wouldn’t take it out on everyone else. I didn’t love her because she protected me. I was perfectly capable of handling myself. I didn’t need a knight in shining armor to save my ass. I had my ass covered, thank you very much.

  What’s wrong?

  Cinder hadn’t been with me last night. The pixies had been so grateful for the “warrior beast” after seeing him bring down as many trolls as he did. I wasn’t sure of the true number. There were so many different stories it was hard to figure out the truth. And he was so busy living up to his new fame that he hadn’t bothered to tell me the truth, insisting it was sixty.

  Regan. She came to me last night when I was watching over… them. She said that she was tired of being weak and being saved by other people. She believes that she’s supposed to be the strong one in this group and that she’s supposed to protect me.

  Like you need protecting.

  I know, but she’s still stubborn about the whole thing. She doesn’t like feeling like this. She stormed off last night saying something about how she would become stronger. I don’t think she means to do weightlifting, but I can’t figure out what she plans to do. It’s not like there’s anything special she can do to become more than human. It automatically puts her at a disadvantage, especially against enemies that don’t seem to be fazed by bullets.

  I don’t think she knows what she’s going to do either. Keep an eye on her, but I’m sure she’ll be fine. You’ll be back to normal soon.